::: I changed the story from 5 children to 4, just because I felt like it was a little dragged out. Also, the ending might seem a little "open to interpretation" but I think you get the gist of it...? :::
Charlie didn’t know what to expect as he stood behind the gates of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Waiting eagerly alongside 4 other lucky ‘Golden Ticket’ winners, the day he had been dreaming of for as long as he could remember had finally come – the day he would meet Mr. Wonka, and step foot into his Chocolate Factory. After a moment of quiet anticipation, the front factory doors swung open and a distant figure came strolling into view – none other than Mr. Wonka himself. Charlie and the three other children stared in awe as he approached them. Cane in hand, Willy Wonka stopped just before the gate, swung his arms into the air, and in showy fashion the gate doors parted harmoniously.
“Welcome children! You five have been fortunate enough to each find a Golden Ticket! As reward, you are cordially invited to a tour of my Chocolate Factory, and ONE of you will even learn the secret ingredient… to my infamous Wonka chocolate!”
Charlie’s eyes lit up at the thought. Could he really be that ONE?
Willy Wonka shook hands with each of the children, Charlie being the last.
“And what might your name be?”“Charlie Bucket, Mr. Wonka!” he exclaimed.
Willy Wonka seemed a little surprised by his enthusiasm, a large grin soon spreading across his face. Without any further words, Willy Wonka stood upright, directed his cane to the Chocolate Factory entrance doors and yelled “Let’s go children!”The children excitedly raced on in, Willy Wonka following soon after. As the doors closed behind them, Willy Wonka’s grin grew even wider…
☆
After a while of travelling through maze-like halls and bizarre lopsided rooms, Willy Wonka and the children reached a single door.
“You are now about to enter the nerve centre to the entire Wonka factory. Inside this room all of my dreams become realities, and some of my realities become dreams. And almost everything you see is edible…”
“Let me in I’m starving!” hefty boy Augustus cried hungrily.
“Now don’t get over-excited, don’t lose your head Augustus. We wouldn’t want anyone to lose that!” He warned.
Willy Wonka soon turned the door knob, revealing a room made entirely out of chocolate and candy. The children darted off in all directions, unable to control their cravings.
Willy Wonka loomed upon a busy Augustus, slurping as much his pudgy hands could cup from a pool of chocolate milk.
“You seem to be enjoying that, Augustus.”
Drinking greedily, Augustus took no notice of Willy Wonka standing right behind him. A smile wiped across his face as he peered down at the boy.
“I told you not to get over-excited…”Willy Wonka muttered, suddenly pushing an unaware Augustus into the pool. Too heavy to support himself, a flailing Augustus was soon submerged and out of sight.
☆
After Willy Wonka rounded up the three remaining children, they arrived at a room full of machines, strange contraptions, buttons and levers.
“Welcome to the experimenting room!” Willy Wonka announced. “Here is where all the wondrous chocolate and candy gets tested! I’ve been working on something I call ‘Three-Course-Dinner Gum’, would anyone like to try it?”
“Me!!!” A girl Violet yelled. She quickly walked up to Mr. Wonka, snatched the gum from between his fingers and dropped it into her mouth.
After excitedly describing the various gum flavour changes from breakfast to lunch to dinner, Violet’s expression suddenly turned sour.
“I feel a little strange…”
Violet’s entire body began to inflate to the point where she had become a human ball. The children’s mouths dropped at the sight, but were quickly escorted out by Willy Wonka’s workers.
“Help me Mr. Wonka!” Violet pleaded.
Willy Wonka approached Violet, so round she was helpless to move on her own. With a large grin on his face, he raised his hand to Violet’s view, revealing a giant pin. Violet’s eyes enlarged with fear.
“Pop!” He laughed.
☆
With only Charlie and one other child left, a girl named Veruca, they soon found themselves at a room with large white geese sitting on lavish red pillows atop individual pillars.
“This, children, is the Golden Egg Room! Why is it called so? Because these geese before you lay exactly that! Golden eggs!”
“I want one!” Veruca cried.
“I’m sorry Veruca, these aren’t for sale.”
“What? But I want one and I want it NOW!!!” Veruca demanded.
“Okay, okay, calm down! Let’s try to work something out.” Willy Wonka assured, taking a huffy Veruca by the shoulders and leading her to the centre of the room.
“What am I standing here for?”
“Just wait right there…” Willy Wonka whispered.
He swiftly reached for a lever on the wall and slammed it down. The floor beneath Veruca’s feet collapsed and she instantly fell through without another word.
Charlie, seeing the whole thing turned to Willy Wonka in confusion.
“Mr. Wonka! What did you do that for!?”
He faced Charlie, smiling from ear to ear.
“Charlie, come with me...”
The two travelled down a flight of stairs, the further down they went, the darker it became. They finally reached a large metal door.
“This, Charlie, is the moment you have been waiting for. You have won, Charlie! YOU are the lucky one who gets to find out the secret ingredient to my infamous Wonka Chocolate, and it’s right behind this door!”
“But where are the others?” Charlie stammered.
“Right here!” Wonka exclaimed as he pulled the door open, a wave of heat exuding from within.
A look of horror crept across Charlie’s face.
“That’s right…" Willy Wonka said. "YOU are the secret ingredient! You all are…”
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
to start off with i enjoyed the sinister take on the story. Its quite fun to see willy wonker and as a sinister character, compared to an eccentric genius that he's portrayed as in the original. It is also well written.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, it still retains alot of similarity to the original, perhaps it would've been nice that children had been dispatched differently?
Also, it feels strange that the parents are missing from your version, perhaps the story could've benefited from an explanation as to their abscense, or maybe even wonker coudl've dispatched them himself.
Lastly i thought maybe the interactions between the characters was a little lacking, it was probably due to word restraint more than anything, but it feels a little strange that wonka pretty much is the only one who ever interacts with any of the characters, it could've used a bit more reaction from some of the characters, like maybe charlie getting a bad feeling about wonka.
Thanks for the input. Yeah I would have like to write a little more in depth but it was purely time and word count restrictions that I didn't. I agree when you say it was similar to the film, i'll definitely take that into account should I happen to write another fanfic, thanks!
ReplyDelete